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A Lover’s Lament

By:KL. Grayson and BT Urruela

tightly together and gripping the arms of the chair before finally standing. I steady myself, wobbling a bit, before I’m able to scan the room from the perspective of a man standing six feet two inches tall for the first time in almost a year. It’s like my eyes are opened to an entirely new world, foreign but exhilarating.

Tom takes me by the arm and rebuffs my attempts to push him away. He guides me as I take two slow, unsteady steps forward, stabilizing myself with a hand on each of the parallel bars. Tom backs away and waits, placing his hands on his hips. Katie rises to her feet at the other end of the parallel bars, her eyes gleaming with excitement but anxiety still present on her face.

I take two steps forward.

The nerves ache, the walls of the sockets pressing against them, but I don’t feel it.

I take two more steps forward.

My wife waits, my son in her arms, and the only thing I feel is the immediate need to take them both into my own arms, to hold Katie while standing for the first time in so long.

Two more steps forward.

Tears roll down her cheek, one after the other. I want to wipe them all away. I want to kiss her, to touch her, to hold her like she’s never been held. To feel whole, at peace, and so in love that nothing in this world could ever change it.

I take two more steps forward.

Katie is now standing before me, laughing because she’s so happy. Jax is awake, his beautiful brown eyes curiously taking me in. I kiss Katie’s wet cheek and taste the salt in her tears. I put my arm around her, gripping the small of her back, and I pull her in tight.

Letting go of the other bar, I place my hand on Jax’s forehead, softly stroking his hair to one side. I kiss him lightly on his forehead. He smells of baby powder and that pink lotion Katie likes to use, and it’s the best smell in the entire world.

Then I look down into Katie’s chocolate eyes—after looking up at her for the past year—and all my worries and concerns evaporate. My lips meet her forehead, my other arm resting on her thigh, and out of the blue I remember something Katie said to me while I was in the hospital. She probably doesn’t even know I heard her, but it was her words that pulled me through.

“I want to marry you,” she says, her lips brushing mine. “Marry me, Devin. Wake up, heal, and then marry me. Let me love you and take care of you and show you what a real family is like. And let’s have babies, okay?” Her voice breaks right along with my heart and I try to reach up to touch her—to comfort her—but nothing happens. “Lots and lots of babies. I want sweet little boys with your big green eyes and thick dark lashes. Our little girl will have your dark hair and your smile.”

Well, I’ve taken care of the marriage part, and we have a sweet little boy, but I’m ready for that little girl … hell, I’m ready for lots of babies.

“Hey, Katie?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Remember when I was in the hospital and you told me you wanted lots and lots of babies?”

Katie cocks her head to the side and gives me a curious look. “You heard that?” she asks.

“I heard every word you said. Including the part about the babies …”

“Yeah?” she says with a cute little smirk.

“How about we head back now, put Jax down for a nap and start working on those babies?”

A choking sound comes from behind me and I glance at Tom. He looks down, but not before I notice how flushed his cheeks are. Smiling to myself, I turn my attention back to my beautiful wife. Katie’s smile is blinding, and it’s the most beautiful sight in the whole damn world.

“I think that sounds like a great idea.”

A low growl rumbles from my throat at the thought of burying myself deep inside my wife. “Let’s get me out of these things,” I whisper, so only she can hear me. “What do I need these legs for when the important one is fully functional?”

Katie’s eyes widen, a look of desire flashing across her face. “More than fully functional,” she says, laughing.

“Damn straight it is.”

“What am I going to do with you, Sergeant?” She slaps my arm playfully.

“Love me,” I answer, brushing my lips across hers. “I just need you to love me.”

“Sir, yes, Sir,” she says, and then I devour that sweet, sassy smart mouth of hers.