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Insatiable (Insatiable #1)

By:J.D. Hawkins

We sip our drinks – mine longer than hers – and the whisky burns more than usual.

"He coaches a little league team," Lizzie says, as if talking with her own thoughts. "I mean, isn't that so sweet?"

I had planned to introduce Lizzie to bondage, but now I'm glad I never got the chance. I'm learning pretty quickly that she doesn't know when to stop with the torture.

"He has kids?" I say, clutching at straws like a man underwater.

"No. He has a nephew on the team, I think. Other than that, I think he just likes sports."

I nod agreeably, and suddenly my glass is empty. I gesture the waiter over again.

Lizzie tosses her hair aside, and I repress all memories that it brings up, however pleasant they are.

"You probably already figured this, but … I can't really go on with the … 'arrangement.'"

"Yeah, of course," I say, shrugging again – I sure am shrugging a lot tonight.

"I mean, it was awesome. The most amazing experience of my life. I feel like I should say thank you," she laughs, "but I guess it was kinda good for both of us."

"It definitely was."

"We both know it's not going anywhere, though. I mean, you're you, and I'm still … little Lizzie the goofball!" she laughs again.

"Sure. Like I said. No feelings. No commitments." Yes, I really said that. Yes, it feels like a lifetime ago. Yes, it was meant for Lizzie – I had no idea that I'd be the one who should have taken the advice.

"I mean, we can still be friends, I hope."

Holy shit. Holy mountains of immovable, God-forsaken 'what-the-fuck?' I've seen movies, I've seen TV shows. I've heard this line before. And every time I've heard it I've thought only one thing: Pathetic. Capital 'P.' A line not even I can make sound good.

We can still be friends.

And here it is, being said to me. Jax. The man who can make women come with a look. The man who finds seducing women easier than tying his shoelaces. A man who turned down three women today alone.

The worst thing about that line?

I'm actually glad she said it.

I'm actually glad. I'm actually desperate enough to see this woman that I'll take being friend-zoned over nothing at all. This is my lowest point. My darkest hour.

"We'll see," I say, taking the drink before the waiter can even put it on the table and downing it in one gulp. "Another."

Lizzie looks at me. Her eyes still gleaming, her smile still pure and oblivious and as unavoidably sexy as it ever was. She sips a little from her drink and grabs her bag.

"Well, I should get going. I'm actually seeing James tonight." She stands up, before looking at me like I'm a piece of forgotten luggage. "You don't mind, right? I mean, you're probably glad for the chance to pick up someone new, I guess."

I let out a little laugh, and I swear it hurts my face. "Go. Have a good time. You deserve it."

She leans over and kisses me on the cheek.

"Bye, Jax."

"Bye yourself."

For a second she hesitates, and it almost looks like she's about to say something else. But then she smiles, shakes her head, and backs away. "See you."

I watch her leave.

It's the first time a woman's ever walked out on me.

And I don't know what the fuck to do.